the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
