is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
