hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
