we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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