he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
