We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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