I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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