I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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