glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
