I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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