well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
