I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
