I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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