Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
