ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
