i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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