Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
