I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
