I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
