Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I need a beard to bite.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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