We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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