I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
is that a dick in a sweater?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
