I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
