the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
