I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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