turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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