Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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