I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
dude i'm inner monologue high
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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