You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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