so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize