Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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