i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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