what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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