how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
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