I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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