is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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