literally had 100 drinks last night.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
