Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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