Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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