I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
