On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
