So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
