his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
