It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Randomize
