Don't you send me to vm
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
