I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Will you blow on my dice?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
