im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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