I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
