remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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