It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
How external is "for external use only"?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
