I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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