I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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